


The Date

by ThaFost



Series: Cartoons Make Everything Better [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: First Date, M/M, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-17
Packaged: 2017-12-05 13:41:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/723917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThaFost/pseuds/ThaFost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil had agreed to go on a double date with Tony while he had been on pain medication. But really, going somewhere with Tony Stark isn't what it's cracked up to be some nights.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Date

There is a cafe that Steve frequents in New York, that ultimately means that Phil attends it regularly it as well. Phil just wishes that the waitress would realize that they were more than friends whenever he would drop in on Steve. If only he was brazen enough to reach across the table and take his hand in public, the whole situation at the cafe would be settled and Phil wouldn’t have to worry anymore. Worry is a strong word, Phil wouldn’t have to think about the waitress before going to meet Steve there.

But eventually Stark cashes in on Phil’s medically coerced agreement to go on a group dinner date. Stark also happens to drop enough hints about the date on social media and so by the time the four of them show up, the rest of the restaurant is full of reporters. Tony had tweeted having a hot date, and so they are all a little surprised when he arrives with three other men. Eventually they are seated, and a report approaches them as nonchalantly as possible.

“Mr. Stark, do you remember me? I’m Ms. Lawrence from---”

“Yes I remember your article Ms. Lawrence, what do you need. I’m on a date?”

“Oh yes, I didn’t realize... but with whom?”

Phil feels nervous, as Tony is apt to say something witty, but instead the man takes Bruce’s hand and holds it fondly on the table. “My date.”

“Oh Doctor Banner, I hadn’t realized---”

“Neither had I.” Bruce remarks looking over the menu. “Now, does anyone want to split some stuffed mushrooms as an appetizer?” Steve murmurs to himself, and Phil looks at the listing in the menu. It does sound appealing, but he’s a tad concerned with the price tag this night is going to end up with. Tony tends not to look at anything’s cost. When you’re raised with millions of dollars, getting dinner in a restaurant isn’t difficult at all.

“I’ll split some with you.” Phil says after a moment, and he feels his stomach gurgle in happiness. Bruce smiles happily and they go back to looking over their menus as the press eventually all are slowly informed about the details of the date. Steve rests his leg against Phil’s, and Phil lets himself relax his leg into the touch. “Everything looks so good.”

“I know what looks the best,” Tony says huskily. He leans over to Bruce to kiss him at the table, so Phil looks away towards Steve. There’s a few flashes of lights from cameras, and Phil grins, Steve smiles a bit confused. 

“Stark loves being the center of attention.” Phil tells Steve as there’s still the sound of chapped lips and beard rubbing across skin. “And as a sometimes secret agent, that’s okay with me.” Steve practically beams at this, and Phil finds it hard to resist kissing him. It’s one of those poetry fueling, sun burning smiles that you remember the rest of your life. When it’s over, he turns back to the other men at the table, who seem quite satisfied.

“Now that we’ve put our ‘relationship’ into the public eye, what else did you plan for tonight?” Bruce asks, his finger resting on his choice for dinner as he scans the item.

“Convincing the public that those two are also endearingly in love.” Tony says.

Phil’s not in love. No. Love is not something that takes a long time, love takes time patience and work. He knows that Steve is definitely not in love with him yet, but he doesn’t chance a look to see Steve’s face at the moment. “Are you okay with being... ‘out’?” Steve asks nervously, and Phil turns to him peculiarly. The man has no thought about his public image of Captain America being tarnished, but thinks about whether Phil will be okay.

“Of course I’m okay with it. But to America, I’m not anyone important. I’m Phillip Coulson, a man who has lived a relatively quiet life. No debt, no skeletons in my closet that haven’t been wiped away by SHIELD, just a man.”

“Captain America is just a man too, and the world can see that.” Steve brings one hand up, to turn Phil’s face back towards him. “The world can see that the man I am now is the one I’ve always been.” Steve’s fingers are calloused from working with his shield, and from the other activities he participates in. His thumb strokes Phil’s cheek. It retreats back to hold the menu pensively when the waiter returns to take their orders.

After dinner, they all head back to the tower together in one of Tony’s cars. Phil really wishes that he had brought his car, but that would have only been an excuse to spend more time alone with Steve. Not that there was anything wrong with more time with Steve. From the back seat of Tony’s car, Phil can see Steve fiddling with his hands. He’s close enough that if he wanted to, Phil could lay his hand over Steve’s nervous ones, but he thinks that it might be a bit of a bold gesture, even if by this point all of America knows about them. Tony has the radio up, playing some AC/DC song about parties, or rather Phil would prefer pretending the song is about parties.

When they get back, they take the elevator up to the group area on floor 21, where they are met by a very amused Clint and Natasha, and an angry Nick Fury. On the television is a news broadcast, describing Tony Stark’s new sexy relationship.

His new polyamorous relationship.

“Balls.” Tony says, looking at the screen. “I was so sure we were being obvious.”

“You were being obvious Mr. Stark, and that’s the problem.” Fury says slowly. “Now my right hand man has his own right hand man. And left hand, and one left over for good measure.” Phil bows his head slightly at this statement, trying to show his respect.  
“This is not Phil’s fault,” comes Steve’s voice from behind Phil. It’s sounds rougher than earlier. “With all respect Fury, even if we were all dating, I’m pretty sure that’s not something you can fire Phil over. Not anymore.”

The news in the background is still puzzled over Phil, calling him the “fourth man” in the Barber Shop quartet of Superhero Sex. Phil frowns at the description, but he doesn’t mind being the fourth man as the news outlets rush to put a name to the face. Suddenly his phone is alive, and he feels his heart sink low in his chest. Of everyone who would call him, only two are not currently in this room. Sitwell is on assignment currently, so unless he needs to be retrieved by Phil, personally, it isn’t him.

Which meant his mother had seen the news broadcast.

Everyone turns to watch as he digs the phone from a pocket. Tony looks perplexed about the identity of the phone call. Phil checks the name off the screen, and his breath leaves for a moment, as it is indeed his mother. Sucking in a lungful of air, he readies himself before clicking onto the call.

“Mom, it’s not---” Phil can barely start before his mother is rolling over him with a maternal steamroller of prying questions.

“When did you all first start... dating? Are you planning on getting married? Like in pairs? Or I think Brazil’s opening up those kinds of marriages. When do I get to meet them? The sciencey one is very handsome.”

“Mom. I’m only dating one of them. The news people blew it up.”

“Is it the sciencey one that turns all big and godzillay?”

“No Mom, I’m dating... I’m dating Captain America.” The words felt weird in his mouth, and the strangeness of the situation occurred to him. He was dating Captain America. Well, if he ever got a second date after this media related disaster.

“I guess he’s rather handsome too. When do I get to meet him?” 

Phil shut his eyes to try and recall when he would be most likely to pop up in his home area for a mission or otherwise. “Perhaps in March. We might be in the area then if nothing terrible happens. Or if something terrible happens there we could be sent sooner.”

“Well, I’ll just have to hope you and your super boyfriend swing by the homestead someday.”

“Yes mom, we’ll try.”

“But really, the sciencey one is so handsome.”

“...Mom please stop hitting on my colleagues.” Tony tries to turn his laughter into a cough but he doesn’t succeed very well. Steve blushes, and turns away to face the television.

“I guess I should have known, I mean Carla is you, right?” It really shouldn’t surprise Phil that much that his mother watched the cartoon.

“Perhaps.” He pauses for a moment. “Why have you watched that?”

“For some reason, an anonymous well wisher sent me the boxset... I thought it would be rude not to watch them.” He hears something in her voice that he can’t quite pin down. “Phillip, you do know I am happy with whatever you choose in your life. No matter who you love, love them well.”

“Thanks Mom, but I gotta go. Bossman’s giving me the evil eye.” Fury nearly cracks a smile at this, but he catches himself at the last moment.

“I love you son. Now don’t forget, I want to meet this man.”

“Bye Ma.”

“Bye.” The click of the call ending doesn’t come soon enough. Phil slips his phone back into one of his jacket pockets, before trying to assess the current mood of the situation.

“Well Coulson, good luck, you’ll need it with three boyfriends.” Barton tells him with a chuckle. “Most relationships can’t handle one person with Stark’s libido... or maybe most relationships just can’t handle Stark.”

Tony puffs his chest out reactively, and Phil’s concerned that it’s going to get a bit ugly, but Tony just adds to the lighter mood. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“I would say yes, but ‘Tasha would get upset.” Clint says before sweeping off to go to his room. “Now that you’re home I can get some sleep in peace.”

“Good night Birdboy.” Tony says, before he sidles closer to Bruce. “Next time, I promise, no spectacle. Somewhere quiet. No shebang. Well. Maybe a little shebang, I am me.”

Bruce smiles wistfully before planting a quick kiss to Tony’s cheek. “It wouldn’t be you without the spectacle. Just don’t tweet where we’re going or I’ll smash you.”

Phil turns back to the television to see a commercial for a local convention for all things Avengers. Featuring special guests, Captain America, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Hawkeye, Black Widow, and more! Steve frowns at the television.  
“When did I sign on for that convention?” Steve asks quietly. Tony straightens up quickly.

“Time for bed! See you boys in the morning.” Tony says, tugging Bruce to the elevator hands entwined.

Fury snorts. “I do believe that Stark has practiced forging everyone’s signature by now. I’m surprised you’re not signed up for that convention too Phil.”

“I’ll probably just go to make sure this intrepid group doesn’t offend their brand new fanbase.” Phil schedules a reminder in his phone for the event.

“You could just come with me, seeing as I have no idea when or where I am going to be for it.” Steve says quietly. The man doesn’t even recall signing up, but he still wants to go. 

Beaming, Phil agrees. “It’s a date.”


End file.
